Fantastic! After putting in minimum level effort I found a job. I found scanning the small ads dispiriting both in the scant selection on offer and that most of them seemed to think that stressing the hellish nature of the working environment was the best way to attract candidates. So I decide instead to call into shops round the high street and – even after ruling out those with a high chav quotient and large numbers of kids trashing the displays – I still have quite selection of potential job givers.

I choose a pretty dress thats not at all revealing, but is clean and well ironed and set off. Sunday proves to be a good day for job hunting. Shop staff are bored and have time to talk to you. Some of them are even weekend staff, with naive enthusiasm still lurking around the corners of their eyes. They haven’t a clue if there is work but take a pride in knowing where the application forms are kept and giving you one anyway. They eye you up and down to see if you have anything like a skin affliction that might make you undesirable and finding you have the correct number of fingers and clean hair they beam and hand over the form.

After a couple of shops I strike gold. Theres a job going at one of those health food and homewares places. With an immediate start and hours that suit. Can I come in for an interview the next day. I do and they want me to start the next Monday. Fantastic. I don’t bother handing in the application forms for the other jobs I’ve found.

On Thursday I get a phone call from the area manager. Theres been a bit of a problem. After letting her stutter into the phone a little I say “So what you’re telling me is that there is no job”. I give her a bit of a hard time about having turned down another job and we bring the conversation to a civilised close. Apparently they were going to give the girl who had repeatedly called in sick another go. Who knows if this is true or just the usual bullshit you get from employers. Ten years in the workforce has left me a little jaded. Still. When its not your dream job its amazing how little you care. Note to self: don’t let this show in the next interview.